This is more of an editorial, I guess. I won't publish it. It may also serve to see how many people visit my blog vs clicking links from Facebook or Twitter.
Growing up isn't easy. Being parents of teens isn't easy. Kid are going to make mistakes. You raise your kids to be kind, respectable, good in school and athletic (if they are so inclined). You also have to raise them to think for themselves. To think for themselves they will be faced with making decisions. Good decisions come from experience, and experience comes from making bad decisions. As much as you want to keep them from falling prey to poor judgement you have to let them fall on their face. Best hope would be to minimize the damage when they do.
Sometimes the bad decision is to skip studying to socialize. Sometimes the bad decision is to say something insensitive that makes their peers mad at them. Other times is watching your child become too "confident" in their abilities only to find out they didn't prepare themselves properly to pass the test or make the team. It hurts. As a parent you hate to see your kid sad, crying over what they did. But you know it's the toughest lessons that will stay with them the longest. We've had tough lessons learned in our house. I think our kids will come out better having learned the hard way.
Teens are held to higher standards these days. With the internet and access to information nothing stays hidden. If you make a bad decision it's going to be out there and people are going to find out. And when the stuff hits the fan it's going to be amplified. Teens who are involved with extra-curricular activities are held to a higher standard than your ordinary kid. And they should be. The are representing the school district, family and fans of the program. If you make a bad decision it doesn't just affect you. It affects every person that is invested in the school and all the activities it provides for the students.
I believe that bad decisions also come with repercussions. If you make a bad decision you are going to have to pay for your actions. That being said, kids are kids. I believe in second chances. I do not believe that a bad decision (or two) defines your character. Your character is defined by how you respond and how you change your ways.
I also do not believe that parents have failed if their kid makes a bad decision. A parent fails if they don't support the kid while they work their way through the situation.
Kids, and parents, should not be drug through the mud because of youthful indiscretion. Let's make sure we support each other and show that part of growing up is to for us on the outside of a situation be there to help bring out the best in kids.
Growing up isn't easy. Being parents of teens isn't easy. Kid are going to make mistakes. You raise your kids to be kind, respectable, good in school and athletic (if they are so inclined). You also have to raise them to think for themselves. To think for themselves they will be faced with making decisions. Good decisions come from experience, and experience comes from making bad decisions. As much as you want to keep them from falling prey to poor judgement you have to let them fall on their face. Best hope would be to minimize the damage when they do.
Sometimes the bad decision is to skip studying to socialize. Sometimes the bad decision is to say something insensitive that makes their peers mad at them. Other times is watching your child become too "confident" in their abilities only to find out they didn't prepare themselves properly to pass the test or make the team. It hurts. As a parent you hate to see your kid sad, crying over what they did. But you know it's the toughest lessons that will stay with them the longest. We've had tough lessons learned in our house. I think our kids will come out better having learned the hard way.
I don't think people who tend to make bad decisions are really stupid. Usually if they say they "didn't know"--pleading ignorance, it's just denial. Bad decision-makers typically know they're making poor choices, and they make them because they want something in the moment. They don't project into the future or think, "When I look back on what I'm about to do, will I be proud of it?"
A lot bad decisions usually come from wanting to feel good at that particular moment, and it all goes downhill from there.
I believe that bad decisions also come with repercussions. If you make a bad decision you are going to have to pay for your actions. That being said, kids are kids. I believe in second chances. I do not believe that a bad decision (or two) defines your character. Your character is defined by how you respond and how you change your ways.
I also do not believe that parents have failed if their kid makes a bad decision. A parent fails if they don't support the kid while they work their way through the situation.
Kids, and parents, should not be drug through the mud because of youthful indiscretion. Let's make sure we support each other and show that part of growing up is to for us on the outside of a situation be there to help bring out the best in kids.
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